This Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.
As we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, fans undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of affluence and consumption? The seemingly wilful parade of tropes? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Considering the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but flippant narcissist.
The Iris Affair
Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.
The Gangster Drama
Shady characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which felt rather simplistic.
With Love, Meghan
Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.
Prime Target
We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.
